Country Life’s 39 steps to spotting a cad

Country Life presents an unmissable guide to spotting a cad.

Plenty has been said about the mark of a gentleman, but, in our view, not nearly enough about the equally crucial signs to look out for when identifying a bounder…

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1. Buys diamonds for his mistress, but a Dyson for his wife

2. Orders cocktails


3. Makes his son take his speeding fine

4. Waxes

5. Only laughs at his own jokes

6. Has more than two pictures of himself in the loo

7. Wears a blazer with gold buttons

8. Aspires to live in Mayfair

9. Calls you by the wrong name in bed

10. Drives an E-Type

11. Buys a signet ring on the internet

12. Makes a disloyal best man’s speech

13. Brushes his hair more than three times a day

14. Fills decanters with plonk

15. Isn’t safe in taxis

16. Doesn’t sing in church

17. Thinks he’s James Bond

18. Goes clubbing in his thirties

19. Deletes his search history

20. Has a year-round tan

Donald Trump (Photo: Gage Skidmore)

21. Can juggle— particularly women

22. Wears over-tight swimming trunks

23. Goes Dutch on dates

24. Passes off a love poem as his own

25. Prefers super- yachts to sailing yachts

26. Gives tourists the wrong directions

27. Holidays in Dubai

28. Repeatedly mentions where he went to school

29. Has more than two phones

 Young man using two mobile phones.

30. Doesn’t wear socks

31. Thinks foreplay is optional

32. Parks in disabled bays

33. Kisses and tells

34. Leaves a cloud of cologne in his wake

35. Poaches other people’s birds

36. Never apologises

37. Buys petrol-station flowers

38. Looks over your shoulder at parties

39. Sends more than one Valentine’s Day card

Valentine's cards - why not buy in bulk?

There is, of course, a little cad in every gentleman…

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The November 16 issue of Country Life comes with the Gentleman’s Life supplement – your guide to the best things in life for any true gent… and there may even be the odd pointer for cads as well.