Town mouse on footwear
A visit to the Royal Academy which ends in a pair of old shoes disintegrating finds Clive mulling over the fact that we are all still human


Visiting the RA last week required thought. There are only two stops on the Underground between home and Green Park, but first I had to make my way to the station over a street of compacted snow. Leather-soled shoes would clearly have been fatal, wellingtons inappropriate. I opted for a pair of robust boots inherited from my father-in-law, and donned them with gratitude.
Halfway around the ‘Byzantium’ exhibition, however, I felt something under my foot. It was a lump of rubber in the process of detaching itself from the sole. Not wishing to attract the attention of the warders, I put the evidence in my pocket. But that fragment was followed by others. To begin with, I thought I could limp round the remaining galleries, but no.
I made a Mr Bean style exit, with the peculiar gait of a man who doesn’t want to be seen to be hurrying, yet is anxious to get home before his footwear disintegrates entirely. Another deposit was left on the station platform. Could I make it in bare feet?
Never fear: what remained of the boots held out, but it was a chastening experience. We may live in an age that is defined by ease of travel, not only to Piccadilly, but to the ends of the earth, yet we are human; we need shoes.
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