'Hi James,' began the email to my colleague, James Fisher, while he was out and about in the Highlands earlier this week.
'Our Tunbridge Wells office has listed a very interesting property.'
Since you've already seen the picture at the top of this page‚ you'll no doubt agree that the phrase 'very interesting' might be the understatement of the century so far.
But much as it made us chuckle, the dry humour of Fine & Country's Wesley Barnard is still nothing like as impressive as The Tower, a 175ft landmark in the village of Hadlow, not far from Tonbridge, which the agents are selling for £2.78 million.
At 6ft taller than Nelson's Column, it is thought to be the the tallest folly in the country, and surely one of the most eye-catching.
The 40ft lantern at the top of the tower was added after the original tower was built.
It's also a beautifully presented four-bedroom home, with just under 3,500sq ft of space, set in delightful grounds that include a boating lake, and is eminently commutable to central London. In short, it's not just a knockout bit of architectural whimsy, but a Very Good House Indeed.
You'll need a head for heights to make it to the top.
Hadlow Tower has a fascinating history that is pure English eccentricity. While most 19th century follies were erected to impress the neighbours, this one was built by a local land owner and merchant, Walter May, for reasons of pure jealousy. According to local folklore, May's wife had left him for another man, so in 1838 he had this huge tower built alongside the family home, Hadlow Castle (built by May's father) in order to could keep tabs on his wife and the farmer that she had gone to live with.
It soon turned out that the architect hadn't made it quite tall enough, so he commissioned a 40ft lantern to be added at the top. Just as well he did, or else I'd now be writing that the tower is 34ft shorter than Nelson's Column.
Hadlow Tower as it looked in the 1950s, before a long period of deterioration.
The tower is laid out over nine storeys, though the living space is effectively limited to the first five of those. Or six, if you include the en-suite bathroom that's above the fourth-floor master bedroom. Both take up a floor of their own.
While most of the space is in the tower itself, the lowest four floors also open up in to rooms on one side, where you'll find the entrance hall, kitchen/breakfast room and two of the bedrooms.
In the octagonal tower section are the cinema room on the ground floor, dining room on the first floor, drawing room on the second floor, and en-suite bedroom on the third and fourth floors.
If you're worried about all those stairs, the good news is that there is a lift.
It's all beautifully done, and while part of the credit goes to the present sellers, most should go to the £4.5 million restoration project, funded by English Heritage and the National Lottery, in the 2010s. The original intention was for it to be rented out by the Vivat Trust, but very sadly the organisation went bust and the tower was sold off for £425,000.
Hadlow Tower before the restoration work.
Hadlow Tower has been on and off the market a few times since then — at one point, it was offered as a competition prize in one of those 'win a dream home' competitions — and it's back up for sale once more today.
'This has been a very exciting and unique home that I have been privileged and proud to own for the past few years,' says the seller.
'I and my family have thoroughly enjoyed our time here, including the peaceful and tranquil environment, but my business is taking me abroad so I feel it is time to hand the baton over to new custodians who will appreciate the uniqueness of this amazing place in such an incredible setting.'
Hadlow Tower is for sale via Fine & Country — see more pictures and details.
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