I don’t know whether I should share this confidence, but it has been suggested that I might make a suitable chairman of our local residents’ association. You will gather from this that candidates are not thick on the ground. It’s an honour at which I ought to jump, yet I find myself hesitating.

The person who currently occupies the role and has done so for considerably more than the 16 years we have lived in the street is far too hard-working for a successor not to suffer by comparison. This civic-minded man has waged war with the local traffic wardens, who used to hover, biros at the ready, just before 8.30am, when the parking restrictions come into force.

By sallying out of his house with a camera at 8.29am, and photographing these unsporting functionaries, he was able to drive them back. They may play their dirty tricks in other streets, but not ours. If bin liners are left on the pavement when the rubbish men aren’t expected, he’ll go through the contents looking for clues as to where they came from; in extreme cases, they will be emptied onto the offending step. We have hanging baskets (there may be two views on hanging baskets, but Tachbrook Street likes them) where they never hung before. How could I hope to follow him?