It is always an impressive feat, in my opinion, to take something that is quite old and make it quite new, without making the old thing look new or the new thing look old. Lots of people try, many people fail and I imagine that is because it is both expensive and difficult.
When presented with a property named Rectory Farm House, the mind naturally wanders to immaculate rosebushes, exposed beams and low ceilings, and sleepy vicars wobbling across lawns with trays of tea. From the outside, this Rectory Farm House does little to dispel such a notion. It is for sale with Savills for £10 million.
Now, you might rightly be thinking that £10 million is quite a lot for a trembling vicar and some rose bushes. But the exterior of Rectory Farm House is simply a façade. Inside, a home of voluptuous luxury reveals itself, but gradually, and then everything starts to make itself.
It’s best to start with the swimming pool, because where else would you have a party. The property is described by the agents as one for entertaining on a grand scale, after all. Swimming pools, while nice things to have, are mostly quite ugly. I have never seen a swimming pool such as this one before. I never want to see a swimming pool that is anything other than this one ever again. Elegant, modern, and adding character to the building. I never thought a pool could do that.
'I have never seen Jaws 4, but by all accounts it was terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built and it is terrific.' This might be that house.
Inside, the six bedroom home is finished to an exceptionally high standard, and set over three floors. Entertaining rooms include, but are not limited to, a drawing room, a sitting room, a music room, ‘The Long Room’, a large kitchen, library, and study. The fitness suite, in which you will find the pool, also comes with a sauna, spa and gym.
The house has grown since its 17th century origins, with a previous owner going by the name of Sir Michael Caine having presided over a series of extensions. That might explain why there is an Oscar statue in the cinema room. Sir Michael is famous for many films, including Jaws 4: The Revenge. He once said: 'I have never seen Jaws 4, but by all accounts it was terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built and it is terrific.' This might be that house.
The sheer tasteful decadence of Rectory Farm House continues throughout the 8.3 acres of Thames-side scenery in which it sits. Two further properties (a cottage and a lodge) offer further four bedrooms, while a garage with car lifts is also designed to be used as a party barn, with stairs leading to a mezzanine office.
The gardens themselves have been a source of inspiration for the owners, and feature waterways and three lakes, a croquet lawn, a tennis court and provide a haven for all manner of wildlife, including otters, swans, kingfishers and hedgehogs. The Georgian dovecote, which once housed Sir Michael’s port collection, still contains handwritten labels.
The property is bordered on one end by the Thames, with the village of North Stoke on the other. Rectory Farm House might be the very best of both worlds — a traditional English idyll, with all the tasteful modern trimmings that you could ever want.
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