The Utterly Inessential Father’s Day Shopping List, from super-luxury to a big old box of beer

We'll tell you what he wants. What he really, really wants.

Father’s Day is on June 21, so no excuses: there are wonderful things here for every budget, and plenty of time to order.

Your starter for ten: tasty treats and bottles of booze

Sometimes it’s best not to overcomplicate.

Cartwright and Butler Cheese and Beer hamper — £60 — see more details.

If your dad has the faintest idea what this is for, he will very probably like it

Makes standing in a muddy wet field for hours all the more glamorous.

Cassandra Goad shoot box positon finder — £1260 — see more details.

Say with with chillis

If your dad is an old-fashioned, macho type who’d look askance at being sent flowers and chocolates, this chilli plant with a bar of posh Ocelot chocolate is just the ticket.

£30.60 from Bloom & Wild — see more details

A whole new meaning to ‘cock-a-hoop’

Who says men only get to wear watches? Signet rings have been around for thousands of years, and Hancocks specialise in creating bespoke rings, whether you already have a crest, or want to begin a tradition

Hancocks Signet Ring — from £300 — see more details.

You’ll be relieved to hear that it comes with 30 free lessons

He’s always wanted to play, even if he never admitted it. Indulge him.

Vintage travel guitar plus bag — £158 — see more details.

Just a big old box o’ beer

I really hope the kids see this one.

Beer Hawk discovery crate — £32 — see more details.

A thing to keep stuff in

As travel starts to come back into people’s minds, ensure the bathroom looks snazzy with this chic case. It even has a carry handle that unsnaps so you can attach it to a towel bar — for who in their right mind would simply be content to place such an object on a conveniently-located surface?

Tumi Travel split level wash bag — £95 — see more details.

*Actual father not pictured*

It’s too hot for wax jackets at this time of year, but Barbour have some other bits. (They’re also cheaper. No need to thank us.)

Barbour t-shirt — £29.95 — see more details.

No winding! Hallelujah!

Watches with mechanical innards that need winding are like owning spectacularly pretty vintage cars; wonderful, and engineering marvels, but they need looking after. If your dad is the sort who’d never get around to that, then this quartz-powered model is graceful as well as practical — think of it as an iPace or a Tesla instead of a vintage E-Type.

Frederique Constance slimline watch — from £695 — see more details.

The price is right

This is a true story: a few weeks ago, mentioning the possibility of printing out a picture from my phone, my daughter was genuinely amazed that such a thing was possible. We simply don’t have pictures around like we used to; Addison Ross make it simple as you can just email them a pic and they’ll send back a framed print. They’ll even do the printing for free — all you have to pay for is the frame.

Addison Ross £0 (really) for the picture, frames from £28 — see more details

Available in ALL 26  letters of the alphabet!

Dippy dads will never forget their names again, with these handy initial cufflinks. Also come in other letters.

Cassandra Goad initial cufflinks — from £365 — see more details.

Everyone needs a wallet that costs far more than the amount you’ll ever carry inside it

‘£190 for a wallet? My brother bought one at the Christmas Fair for £1.50 and it’s great!’ Such was the verdict of my nine-year-old daughter on this Ettinger wallet when she spotted it over my shoulder. To be honest this is out of her price range anyway, so I’m not going to be missing out.

Ettinger billfold wallet — £190 — see more details.

If my kids buy me a tie for Father’s Day, I’ll tell them to buzz off

Dad present, dad joke. Sorry. Couldn’t resist. And there’s bound to be some dad out there who’d fancy Favourbrook’s red silk tie with golden bee motifs.

Favourbrook tie — £110 — see more details.

Because middle-aged spread makes your trousers fall down a bit

The woven Narford belt by Fairfax & Favor is stylish and versatile — so, in all likelihood, absolutely nothing like your Dad. But what the hell — at least it’s a gift he can wear every day.

Fairfax & Favor belt — £50 — see more details.

For those dinner parties when you wish you had a toy car to play with rather than having to talk to the idiot next to you

And with the added benefit of being far cheaper than buying your father a vintage E-type. Best bit? The wheels actually spin around!

Deakin & Francis cufflinks — £125 — see more details.

Please resist the temptation to loosen all the screws for a comedy ‘collapsing chair’ moment

Surprisingly comfortable, and very easy to erect, Melvill & Moon’s smart field chair will allow Dad to take a seat wherever he wants.

Melvill & Moon field chair — £250 — see more details.

Just in time for the rainclouds

With the year’s good weather now in the 2020 rear-view mirror, it’s just as well that Emma Willis’s new line of trunks — in playful pink and blue designs — will work as well for pruning roses, mowing the lawn and strolling along in the Riviera.

Emma Willis swimming trunks — £100 — see more details.

Far more stylish than a brown paper bag

People will wonder why Dad keeps lifting a carpet sample to his mouth, but so long as the flask is filled with something good we doubt he’ll care too much.

Huntsman hip flask — £195 — see more details.

Hey! It’s those pink wafer biscuits from when you were a kid!

Except now they’re in the form of some very swish cufflinks.

Susannah Lovis cufflinks — £295 — see more details.

If all else fails

If you really have to go with socks, then at least make them nice ones.

London Sock Co gift box — £69 — see more details.

And finally, a reminder that sometimes it’s best not to overcomplicate things

Really, we mean it. Happy Father’s Day!

Forman and Field Dad’s Delight Father’s Day hamper — from £47.95 — see more details