Can I throw my dog a birthday party? According to a recent survey, nearly two thirds of British pet owners celebrate their pets birthday. To which I only ask: what’s wrong with the other third?
Popular presents include toys, ‘gourmet’ food, cushions with the pet’s face on it (I recently interviewed Dame Jilly Cooper and can confirm that her sitting room is festooned with such cushions), and DNA kits. The last one, I would humbly suggest, is more for the owner than a birthday present for the dog, but it doesn’t surprise me. Almost every dog owner I come across in my south-east London park has forked out for one of these, and discusses it as proudly as if it was their child — ‘Yes, he’s 19 per cent Afghan, 38 percent Belgian sighthound and 43 per cent Poodle.’
Could a canine celebration be a civilised affair?
Over half of those questioned have also thrown their pet a party. This, thunder some, is going too far. Let dogs be dogs and so on. And yes, I agree, to a certain extent. Throwing a party for a dog, complete with party hats, a guest list and a dog-friendly vegan cake (as Sir Lewis Hamilton once did for his bulldog, Roscoe) is silly. I take a dim view of anyone putting their dog in a comedy item of clothing for ‘amusing’ social media purposes, and this policy extends towards party hats. Not dignified behaviour for the owner or poor dog.
On the other hand, Dennis — my Parson terrier — recently turned one and I bought him a new elephant toy and a huge marrow bone from the butcher as a special treat. No party but I could have thrown him one. I’ve been to plenty of first birthday parties for friends’ squawking toddlers; why not Dennis?
I didn’t because it was midweek, he was happiest dragging his bone around the garden, and I do think throwing an animal a party is a tiny bit OTT. But I defend the right to throw a dog a party, just as I understand dog owners who claim their dog is their child.
I’m not advocating the greater use of the phrase ‘fur baby’. That’s on my banned list. But just as those of us without children are expected to be entirely tolerant of those who do, to overlook tantrums in coffee shops and screaming fits when they come over for lunch, so too could non-doggie people cast a friendlier eye towards pet owners.
‘Dogs versus babies: is our love of canines causing falling birthrate?’ asked a recent headline in the Times. I’m no scientist and would humbly suggest that the decline in those of us choosing to have babies is a mite more complicated, but I don’t think sneering and laughing at dog owners who want to throw a bash for Fido helps much. If you want to, go ahead. Just, please, no party hats.
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