With a familiar thud, a fat envelope lands on the mat – the higher the gsm, the louder the thud. I love weddings – all those popping waistcoats, church belters, wild dancers, weird relatives and wonderful hats – but my heart fills with dread when I tear open an envelope and a whole deck of cards tumbles out.
The wedding, yes, the breakfast, yes. The night before the wedding – hmm… Brunch, lunch and/or tea the day after the wedding – for goodness’ sake! All three and I curse romance in all its forms.
I like people very much, both friends and strangers, talking to them, eating with them, dancing with them, pinching cigarettes off them – all the usual wedding behaviours – but I’m no slave to love. The 12 labours of Hercules were a doddle compared to a summer full of three-day weddings.
When my parents were married, the form was a morning ceremony followed by Champagne and cake (a buffet lunch if you were lucky), then everybody scurried home early. Now, they go on into the evening, ending at midnight or shortly after in the civilised world, but have been known to last all night long – this, to me, is the optimum wedding formula, one stupendous day and night.
By all means, would-be-weds should arrange a get-together with family and close friends – it’s rare to have everybody in the same place – but don’t invite the whole blasted wedding party. My mother thinks I’m delightful, but even she doesn’t want to talk to me for 72 hours straight and what you may find charming and novel in my repartee one evening is sure to be repetitive the next.
Furthermore, what’s to prevent the embarrassment of not recognising one’s best bud of the night before, who has, confusingly, changed his/her clothes. The simple act of brushing one’s hair and taking off a cardie can confuse some men.
The horror of horrors is the do the day after. I have attended these events. To my shame, I’m enticed by the free food. The Sunday party is a casual affair, a barbecue or buffet. Those who attend are too tired to talk much. It usually rains. There isn’t enough seating. People hang around with friends because it’s less effort; they’d all rather be sleeping than scintillating.
During one such day-after-the-wedding lunch, I was found curled up in a bundle with two girlfriends, near the coats. That’s where all sensible people should be after a daylong shindig – in slumber or travelling somewhere where this will be possible, to recover bright and bushy-tailed for the next joyful celebration of love.
Annunciata Elwes (neé Walton) got married in June - read her blog about planning a day which definitely lasted just one day and night
The secret to a good wedding? More sincerity, less triviality
The secret of the classic country wedding is quality over quantity, says Giles Kime
Why morning dress is flattering, tasteful and essential for weddings
Whether you splash out or keep it simple, one thing you shouldn't compromise on is your wedding clothes – and morning
Credit: Alamy
Wedding myths debunked, and mysteries explained
Weddings are as chock full of myth and superstition as they are canapés and crazy relatives.
-
It's a perfect storm for the revival of eclecticism, and we're in the middle of itIn design, periods of purism are often followed by a dramatic new mood. Now, the scene is set for an exciting revival of eclecticism.
-
How good is your Claudia Winkleman trivia? Find out in The Country Life Quiz of the Day, October 13, 2025What secrets lurk beneath that fringe?
-
Nine of Britain's most beautiful and awe-inspiring painted ceilings from the Country Life archiveOur round-up of some of the Britain's prettiest painted ceilings is a good reminder to always look up.
-
The Glovebox: The fastest coffee shop on four wheelsBentley joins forces with Joe & The Juice, Rolls-Royce makes a Spectre for a dog, an Austin Mini with royal connections comes up for auctions, and Norman Foster clambers into a Bulldog.
-
‘One remembers not to give the Queen a thump of joyful friendliness’: Remembering Norman Parkinson — revolutionary fashion photographer and Cecil Beaton’s only homegrown rivalCecil Beaton might be the toast of London right now, with a new exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery, but contemporary Norman Parkinson was always hot on his heels.
-
Tim Knox, director of the Royal Collection, charts a century of regal tasteEdward VII swept away the cobwebs of mid-Victorian style, Queen Mary had passion for all things small and the Queen Mother bought rather avant-garde art.
-
‘One of the most amazing spaces in London’: Two Hogarth murals, inside an 18th century London hospital, are to go on public display for the first timeSt Bartholomew's Hospital’s north wing is to open as a visitor attraction and events space — while the rest of the hospital will continue to operate as normal.
-
Sophia Money-Coutts: A snob's guide to welliesWellington boots are a signifier, says Sophia Money-Coutts, of whether you are 'proper country' or not.
-
Fall the right way: Country Life's shopping guide to the very best this autumnFrom tweed to tartan, scented candles to sandwiches, here's how to spend your money this autumn.
-
What to expect when you start collectingStarting a new collection can be daunting. Art advisor Patrick Monahan shares his top tips on what and how to buy and what to avoid.
