Naughty dogs come in all shapes and sizes — as do their crimes and misdemeanours.
Country Life has teamed up with Lily’s Kitchen to run a competition to find Britain’s naughtiest dog.
If you think your pooch has what it takes to earn that title, you can find out how to enter here.
And to give you a flavour of the sort of thing your calamitous canine is up against, down below you can read the funniest stories of the winners from last time we ran the competition, back in 2015.
2015’s Overall winner: Rabbit
Heinz 57, Warminster, Wiltshire
Rabbit is an all-round mischief-maker and the deserved victor of our Britain’s Naughtiest Dog compeition in association with Lily’s Kitchen. Crimes include destroying furniture, toys and pieces of clothing; chewing through £250 in cash; hitching lifts round the county in an Amazon delivery van and stealing bones from the next-door neighbour’s dog.
First runner-up: Woody
Labrador from Twickenham, Middlesex
Woody, or ASBO as his friends and family affectionately know him, has a stomach of steel and a knack for disaster. Aside from daily raids on the laundry basket and recycling bins and a taste for expensive dressage bridles, Woody caused a stir when he trotted up to an elegant Italian woman sitting on a park bench enjoying her peaceful afternoon and, quite inexplicably, peed on her.
Not especially fond of sleeping, Woody once embarked on a solo nighttime adventure during a camping trip, returning triumphantly to show off to his owners the decomposing salmon he had discovered on his travels. Disappointed that his owners were more intent on getting back to sleep than inspecting his piscatorial trophy, Woody dislodged the ropes and brought the tent crashing down on them all.
Second runner-up: Jolly
Dalmatian from London
For those dogs with a nose for adventure, cities are just big playgrounds and for Jolly, London will just about do. An experienced Underground traveller, Jolly once did a poo on the Piccadilly Line and she likes to puncture footballs in the grounds of the Royal Hospital Chelsea.
A pricey stuffed shark fell foul of Jolly’s jaws in an antiques shop, but her pièce de résistance must be the time when she bounded up to a bride being photographed in Hyde Park, leaving a trail of paw prints on her hitherto pristine white dress.
Best consumer winner: Buster
Labrador from Wareside, Hertfordshire
Buster was barred from ‘doggy day care’ after he ate a whole 20-year-old taxidermy crocodile.
Best consumer runner up: Boot
Collie-cross from Yelverton, Devon
He munched his way through an entire collection of books — all first editions, of course.
Best consumer highly commended: Mavis
Lurcher from Felpham, West Sussex
Mavis has gobbled up 6lb of raw pasta, the family hoard of Easter eggs and 21 human antibiotics.
Best escape artist winner: Ted
Irish water spaniel cross from Copthorne, West Sussex
Too impatient to wait for a door to be opened for him, Ted succeeded in bringing the entire cat flap with him when he charged through it.
Best escape artist runner up: Pushkash
Hungarian vizsla from Farnham, Surrey
Pushkash took himself off for a walk at a service station just off the M6 toll road near Birmingham. Fortunately, his owners realised, 30 minutes into their journey, that he wasn’t in the car and returned to collect him.
Best escape artist highly commended: Hamilton
Basset hound from Portree, Isle of Skye
Hamilton mounted his own pooch-led protest at being taken on a trip to the tip by locking his owner out of the car. When she broke in through the back-door window, he made a break for it and, with his spaniel partner-in-crime in tow, spent a thoroughly exciting afternoon refusing to be caught.
Most embarrassing winner: Toby
Springer spaniel from Tresco, Isles of Scilly
With a knack for selective hearing on shoot days, Toby bounded off to collect a bird of his choosing, which happened to be half a mile offshore. He brought the day to a standstill when the harbour master had to take his boat out to rescue him.
Most embarrassing runner up: Digby
Border terrier from Lympne, Kent
Digby made sure golfer Paul Casey didn’t have it too easy by stealing his ball from the 12th green just as Mr Casey was about to putt for a birdie at the Alfred Dunhill Links Championship at Kingsbarns in Scotland.
Most embarrassing highly commended: Dickens
Labrador from Fernhurst, West Sussex
Dickens gatecrashed a wedding, where he stole a bouquet and a guest’s shawl, before completing a few laps of honour around the venue.
Most destructive winner: Bryn
Greyhound cross from Great Preston, Leeds
Showing a flair for adventure, Bryn hopped up next to the kitchen sink and inadvertently turned the tap on, flooding the brand-new kitchen. Meanwhile, his tail almost caused a gas explosion when it hit the gas tap on the cooker.
Most destructive runner up: Custard
Labrador from Brington, Cambridgeshire
Custard took it upon himself to liven up a three-year-old’s birthday party by stealing a large kitchen knife from the worktop and chasing guests around with his prize.
Most destructive highly commended: Beetle
Cocker spaniel from Shrewsbury, Shropshire
Chewing through his lead enabled Beetle to run onto a school’s rugby pitch to show the players how it’s done. Despite much dodging and ducking, his game ended when one of the pupils’ fathers managed to tackle him to the ground.
It's four years since Country Life last sought out Britain’s Naughtiest Dog — and we're doing so again. Does yours