'At the time, I wanted to move to Mexico and go into witness protection': What to do when you're stalking someone on Instagram and accidentally like a post from six years ago

Ooof, I’m so sorry. This is a bad one. How quickly did you unlike the picture? If the person in question doesn’t have Instagram notifications switched on, you may get away with it and they won’t know. If they do have notifications, I’m sorry to say they’ll know you’ve been furtively scrolling through their profile. Busted.

So easy to do, these days. It’s inevitable, given how much time we all spend online, that there’ll be the odd slip up. In most cases, I would simply unlike the post as quickly as possible and ignore it. Especially if it’s an ex’s profile or, even worse, the profile of their new partner. You could try and make a joke about it. ‘Whoops, so sorry, just doing a spot of historical research,’ but historical research on your ex’s profile seems a funny thing to be doing at 11.32pm on a Tuesday night. Really, there’s nothing remotely redeemable you can say in this situation. You were snooping on their page, you’ve been caught out, never mind. More dignified to say nothing rather than try to explain it. It may feel excruciating now, but in a few days you’ll have forgotten it.

I know this because I’ve done it. A few years ago, in an Uber home after a night out, and several wines, I accidentally liked a wedding picture posted by an ex-boyfriend’s new wife. At the time, I wanted to move to Mexico and go into witness protection. It felt hugely dramatic. It still felt quite dramatic and shaming the morning afterwards. Now? I can barely remember the picture. Her in a wedding dress, their hands in the air, maybe? Embarrassing for a moment, but nobody died.

A different policy applies when it comes to that other digital slip up: accidentally sending a rude message about someone on WhatsApp to that very person instead of whoever you meant to send it to. On WhatsApp, if you’re quick enough, you can now delete said message. But given how often we’re all on that app, they may well have already seen it. In this case, I would address it with a grovelling apology. ‘I’m so sorry, that was unforgivable. I’m having a bad day. Please can we forget it ever happened?’ That kind of thing. They probably won’t forget, but at least you’ve been a grown-up and tackled the issue.

Or you could do what a certain member of my family did when he accidentally emailed a woman calling her ‘a rude cow’ in an email intended for someone else. Having realised his error, he panicked, slammed his laptop shut and simply walked out of the office. Later, he sent an apologetic follow-up, but immediately after it happened, he simply needed a walk in fresh air. We’ve all been there, and if not, you will be one day. The easiest thing, as with so many hiccups in life, is to apologise as quickly as possible. I’m so sorry, properly meant, goes a long way.