What are the questions you should ask yourself when buying a castle? For me it would be a mix of complex and simple ones. Simple ones would be questions such as: ‘Does the roof leak?’ or ‘how much does it cost to heat’ or ‘is there decent water pressure in the showers’?
More complex, but in my opinion equally important, questions to consider would be: ‘How castle-y does it look?’, ‘Is it one of only three complete and intact Norman Keeps in the UK, built in around 1100 and continuously occupied?’ and ‘Would it make a suitable location for the hit tv show, The Traitors?’.
Very important questions, I think you would agree. While I can’t comment on the status of the roof, heating bills (although I would guess the answer is: quite a bit) or water pressure, there’s no doubt Appleby Castle in Cumbria answers the other three questions with an emphatic yes. Up for auction with Knight Frank on October 30, at a guide price of £5.5 million.
A hall for your banquets. Complete with armour set.
There’s much to love about Appleby Castle. It offers 22 bedrooms in total, as well as three self-contained holiday cottages. There are two ‘great halls’, for one’s banquets. A commercial kitchen, library, billiard room, gym/spa and wine cellar. Don’t forget fishing rights on the River Eden, the tennis court, and the bee house, as well as 25 acres of parkland.
One of the many richly appointed bedrooms. I think the theme here is 'red'.
Looking through the particulars, it’s clear that this residence is currently used as an events space, for those who enjoy cosplaying medieval life. The interiors are achingly period, with lots of bits of armour about, four-poster beds, big fires, wooden panels and exposed brick or stone walls. Per Knight Frank, it hosted everything from weddings, conferences and school visits, to classic car rallies, battle re-enactments, concerts and falconry displays. You better believe that I was to take the keys of Appleby, there would be plenty of falconry and battle re-enactments.
Could you also use it for the Traitors? Absolutely, should the current owners of Ardross Castle decide they don't want Claudia on the lawn anymore, this place would be as good as any.
Combine all of those glorious amenities with a storied history, and surely you have a winner. It boasts a distinguished lineage of owners, including Henry II, Richard the Lionheart, Richard II and Lady Anne Clifford. It can even trace its origins to Roman times. Plus, and this is crucial, it looks and feels like a proper castle.
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