The world of retail is gearing up for Black Friday next week — indeed, many shops have already started, or are just about to — and we'll be running a special feature next week. For now, though, relax and enjoy this selection of things that you definitely don't need, but you probably want anyway.
When is an advent calendar not an advent calendar? When it's an advent building
Would you call an advent calendar 'utterly inessential'? Not if you're seven years old, you wouldn't, for how else are the young supposed to keep tabs of the days between December 1 and Christmas?
Put a £15,000 price tag on that advent calendar, however, and even the most well-heeled child might question whether . Of course, children are (presumably) not the target audience for this genuinely spectacular building, described by the makers as 'an Advent Calendar to last a lifetime'.
The calendar's design is 'inspired by the architecture of Belgravia', while it's crafted from oak burr and sycamore with marquetry in various other woods to create the beautiful 24 drawers — plus a hidden compartment for Christmas Day.
Wooden advent calendar — £15,000 from DavidLinley.com
A message in a bottle
You know those insulated, metal water bottles which have been taking over the planet? We like them, because anything which involves getting water from a tap rather than paying £1.99 for tepid, plasticky liquid gets out vote.
We've never really thought of them in terms of saving the planet, but one of the companies who make them clearly has, and the result is the 'Seal Snorkeller Ion8 Friends of the Earth' bottle. The PR blurb describes it as an object that manages to 'portray the majesty of our oceans', then ups the ante to claim that this is more than a water receptacle: 'It’s a message in a bottle,' they say, 'a statement in your hands.'
Something nice to set on fire
If spending £45 on something which you literally set fire to and discard afterwards isn't utterly inessential, then we don't know what is.
The good news is that this candle will look pretty and smell divine as you watch it burn away.
To The Fairest Cécile candle — £45 from www.belrebel.com
You'll need a good barbecue in case the oven breaks down on Christmas Day and you've no other way to cook the turkey
It's the middle of winter. Here's a barbecue so good that you won't even care that you have to go outside to use it.
(The Christmas Turkey thing isn't even a joke, incidentally — we know lots of people who actually swear by cooking it on the barbecue, even when their main oven indoors is working perfectly well.)
Weber Summit S-670 GBS Gas Barbecue — £3,799 from www.weber.com
Surely this is worth it for the little leather pouch alone
In the highly-unlikely event that anyone who knows me has thought to consult this list before buying a Christmas present, look no further than this.
I don't need it. I'm not even sure what it's meant to be for. But it just looks amazing, and I just feel that my life would be better if I owned it.
Leatherman Heritage Charge TTi+ Multi-Tool — £209.95 from multi-tool.co.uk
Credit: from PRs
The utterly inessential shopping list: An iPad/Alexa hybrid, a wire reindeer and a £145 air freshener
At this time of year more than any other, rampant consumerism is an inescapable fact of life. So don't fight
Credit: Red Original
The Utterly Inessential Outdoors Shopping List: How to grow your own drinks garnish, a water bottle that keeps ice for 24 hours and a quacking picnic blanket
Credit: Rhug Estate
Talking turkey: Six steps to a perfect Christmas roast
We've spoken to two top chefs to get tips on how to make a beautiful, moist Christmas turkey
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An eight-bedroom wonder in East Sussex where the outdoors are an adventureThe interiors of Old Middleton are pretty good too.
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Seeing you seeing me: How did British artists portray eachother in the 20th and 21st centuries?The 'Seeing Each Other: Portraits of Artists' exhibitions comprises paintings, prints, drawings, photography, sculpture and installation spanning 125 years.
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Seven perfect Christmas gifts for people who just love beautiful, functional thingsWilliam Morris famously said to have nothing in your house that you don't know to be useful or believe to be beautiful. These things do their best to hit both targets.
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Christmas gift ideas for menFrom fathers to brothers to lovers, we run through some smart ideas for Christmas presents for the men in your life.
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Perfect Father’s Day gifts for dads who deserve itThere are many ways to show your dad that you love and appreciate him. There's breakfast in bed, an offer to mow the lawn, a big hug and the offer of the last biscuit. Or you could just buy him something that he definitely doesn't need, but we're pretty sure he'll want.
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The Utterly Inessential Wimbledon Shopping ListWe've rounded up all the utterly inessential products — posh tennis gear, in other words — that you absolutely do not need to enjoy Wimbledon, but would probably fancy having anyway.
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The Utterly Inessential Mother's Day list: 16 gifts guaranteed to either surprise or delightIs your mum the sort who's happiest with what she knows — or one who loves a surprise?
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The Utterly Inessential Shopping List: Supercharged home Wi-Fi, smart headphones and a mobile phone literally anyone can useOur Utterly Inessential Shopping List returns with some technology that is far cleverer than we are.
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The best weekend bags and finest holdalls that (rather a lot of) money can buyGoing somewhere nice? You might be soon, so here's Hetty Lintell with her pick of the finest holdalls and best weekend bags you can buy.
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Best smart speakers for non-techie people: What to expect, what you'll love and what doesn't workSmart speakers are no longer the preserve of tech geeks and millennials — these handy speakers are, and (as we'll discover) particularly handy for those living in the countryside. We've looked at some of the main contenders to see which one comes out on top: Google Nest Audio, Amazon Echo Studio, the Apple HomePod Mini, and the Audio Pro G10.
