You are told not to use the word unique relatively early on in your journalistic career. Unique is like a lot of words, in that it is often used incorrectly, and has a very specific meaning, much like decimated, that crusty old sub editors will take great pleasure in explaining to you.
Estate agents are guilty of its over-use, but then it is an evocative word and their job is to sell houses. The truth is that many unique houses are anything but. There are plenty of thatched cottages, and barn conversions, and stately homes and Modernist delights. People have been building homes for some time, and they do enjoy copying each other's homework.
Daniel Craig and Ben Whishaw as Bond and Q, and the customary Aston on the driveway. Start as you mean to go on.
But that does not mean that there are none. There is a house in Retford, Nottinghamshire, that is absolutely unique, in that it has no copies, no facsimiles, no equals. It is Skyfall, which is a James Bond-themed fever dream of some six bedrooms and 11,000sq ft of living space. For sale, with Fine & Country, for offers in excess of £2.95 million. You will, I am sure, not have seen anything like it.
It’s important to remember when looking around a house for sale that a lot of the furniture involved will likely be leaving with the vendors. So, for example, when you look at a house in which pretty much every wall is decorated with Things Related To James Bond, you can take some comfort that it might not be there when you move in. What might be more tricky to remove, however, is a full-sized mural of Daniel Craig and Judi Dench gazing over Glencoe that occupies the top floor of the galleried games room. In for a Moneypenny, in for a pound.
The galleried games room, with functioning bar.
The mural of Judi Dench and Daniel Craig in Skyfall, in Skyfall.
More on interior design choices later. The property offers six bedrooms, 11,000sq ft of space, and is superbly appointed throughout, with amenities including a tennis court (with another giant mural, this time of Wimbledon), the aforementioned galleried games room with a bar, a home gym, landscaped gardens and grounds and a triple garage in which to keep one’s Aston Martins. Inside, the principal bedroom suite features a vast dressing room, and an orangery, conservatory, garden room, and dining room are some of the many, many reception rooms on offer.
All of this comes after a complete and total renovation by the current owners. Included in the listing photographs are plenty of pictures of mould, if you’re interested in looking at that kind of thing. According to the agents, it is one of the area's 'most exclusive and well-recognised homes', which is hardly a surprise as I am not sure how many James Bond-themed houses there are in Retford, but surely there can't be more than one.
There is no doubt that this is a house of contrasts. Take, for example, the twin interests in James Bond and Wimbledon. My highlight however, is the juxtaposition of the downstairs loo, which might be the most beautiful bathroom I have ever seen, with a sensational vintage cistern, Victorian radiator, stained glass window and floral wallpaper, with the sitting room, which looks like every AirBnB you’ve ever stayed in. It’s like half of this house was designed by someone on an acid trip, while the other was designed by someone on Love Island. All we know for sure is that this person, or these people, absolutely, categorically, undeniably, indisputably love James Bond (and also Wimbledon, to a lesser but equally undeniable extent).
But let's move all that to one side, because perhaps what is most important is that this is a house of great character. One of the great (and, in my opinion valid) criticisms of the wealthy is that despite having lots of money, they spend it badly. Not so here. Here is a home of joy, of luxury, of vivid colour and excitement and many many strange wallpapers and things on the wall. It is that rarest thing, which is that it is wonderfully, gloriously, unique.
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