The Newt has done it again Ken Livingstone and Transport for London have announced a new increased congestion charge for the so-called Chelsea Tractors. High-up drivers in their 4x4s will have to pay £25 for the privilege of driving into central London. But, of course, it’s not quite as simple as that. Beyond the M25, a tough car is a necessity. And even country mice need to come to town occasionally. If you have children (and all the equipment they entail), or need to carry guns that are being taken in for servicing, taking the train instead isn’t an option (not to mention the fact that it’s more expensive).

Furthermore, it turns out that it’s not that easy to determine just what is a 4×4 and what isn’t: a Volkswagen Passat, not yet a target for the activists, will have to pay the hefty charge. But a Suzuki Vitara, registered before 2001, will not. Why not just do away with car ownership in town altogether? Those who drive about regularly could get an electric G-Wiz, and if you fancy a speeding ticket, join a car club and hire a fancy four-wheeler for the day.