Joyous though I am at Red Ken’s departure, I have to admit that the 360 bus, introduced during his time, is handy. It runs, as I discovered on Saturday, between our house and the Kwik-Fit garage on Sloane Avenue, where I had some tyres changed. I’m grateful to Loraine for returning the mobile phone that I left on the bus while the work took place. I phoned it, and Loraine answered. ‘It’s all right,’ she told me. ‘Your wife Caron will collect it.’ ‘But my wife’s called Naomi.’ ‘Caron said she was your wife,’ she said, doubtfully.

I could see an imbroglio was in the making. Actually, it had already been made. Loraine had called the last number dialled, which was one of the boys’ friends. As the address book showed the number as Caron (home), to distinguish it from Caron (mobile), she assumed it meant my own home. Caron was surprised to learn that her husband’s mobile had been found in Pimlico, because he was at a conference in Buckinghamshire or so she thought.

It came as news to Naomi that we were having a new Mercedes. Kwik-Fit had called to say that the car was ready; it’s easy for wires to get crossed. ‘Perhaps it’s your birthday,’ said Loraine helpfully. ‘Or hers.’ But thank you for looking after my phone.