'There's a reason Andie MacDowell gets chatted up by everyone at that wedding — the hat': A snob's guide to hat etiquette
Wedding season is upon us — and ignoring the words 'hats encouraged' on an invite is not an option, says Sophia Money-Coutts.
Here’s a scenario: a wedding invitation lands and the dress code says ‘hats very much encouraged’. Do you a) wear a hat? B) ignore it and go without?
These days, the latter is extremely common. I have been to weddings where the invitation stipulated as much, and the only people who’ve dutifully obeyed are the mother-of-the-bride and an elderly aunt.
I get it. Hats are expensive. Another item to think about on top of the frock and the shoes and the bag and the wedding present and the bed and breakfast. You may also feel self-conscious in a hat. How big do you go? Too big and you risk annoying everyone in church; too small and you’re veering dangerously into fascinator territory. I suspect this partly accounts for the recent rise in ‘fun’ Alice bands. A nod to a hat, you have something on your head, but you haven’t gone for the full caboodle. You can also greet people hello without garrotting them with your hat brim.
'Is it going to kill you to wear something fancy on your head for an afternoon?'
But come on, everyone, where’s your sense of occasion? Buck up. You spend much of your life in athleisure. Is it going to kill you to wear something fancy on your head for an afternoon? Of course, if you’re in the Royal Enclosure at Royal Ascot, men have to wear top hats and women something ‘with a minimum base diameter of 10cm’ (which essentially means no fascinators, please), although this year’s Ascot stylebook also featured a woman wearing a top hat, if that’s more your bag. But if you receive a wedding invitation encouraging a hat, why not?
Alice Hare, stylist and woman who knows what’s what when it comes to etiquette and matters of dress, doesn’t mince her words. ‘Do not be afraid of a f**k-off hat. Their scarcity now makes them all the more elegant. See: Andie MacDowell's chicer than chic black wedding guest hat in Four Weddings and a Funeral. There's a reason she gets chatted up by everyone at that wedding and the hat is key to that.’ A hat, in other words, can add allure, elegance, may give you an air of sophistication above those who’ve plumped for Alice bands, which smack slightly of school imho.
They don’t have to be expensive, either. If you can afford a Philip Treacy or Stephen Jones, splendid. Laura Cathcart makes sensationally pretty hats if you can stretch to the £500 mark. But, points out Alice, ‘couture milliner Lisa Tan has just collaborated with Coast on a range of hats around £100, while Edwina Ibbotson just did a collab with River Island.’ The latter includes a particularly jolly polka-dot boater for £59, and boaters aren’t a bad option if you’re nervous about hats. Soignée, but not too ostentatious. Or, adds Alice, take an old hat to VV Rouleaux in Marylebone and they will update it with trimmings to match your outfit.
As for wearing them, well, ‘if the hat has an elastic band to secure it to the head (most do), cover that with your hair or make sure the band is the same colour as your hair at least, and secure it with hair grips so it doesn't fly off in the wind.’ In the olden days, the general rule was that the hat would be in place for the ceremony, and then stay on until the mother-of-the-bride removed hers, likely just before sitting down to eat. By and large, that still stands today. You can keep it on for the reception (you want to get your money’s worth, right?), but whip it off for supper. If hats have been encouraged, there should be somewhere in the marquee to hang or peg said hat. Just remember to collect it at the end of the evening, before staggering off to your taxi.
