I am very lucky to own some of a house in London. Myself and my business partner, whom you might know as HSBC, managed to scrape together enough money (mostly theirs) to purchase a leasehold property in Bermondsey. There is comfort in having your own place. But that comfort is always eroded by the knowledge that it was too expensive and the guilt of knowing others are not so fortunate. I do not seek sympathy, only understanding.
That sense of guilt, horror and ‘being thoroughly ripped off’ is never more acute than when I see something like this.
That is a pair of garages in Lavender Hill, near Clapham Junction, that are for sale for £140,000 with Foxtons. That is 262sq ft of space, that you cannot (realistically) live in. £603 per square foot. They are not even nice garages. They are not even in central London (despite what the listing might have you believe). That is about what my house (which has two-bedrooms and a garden and a parking space) cost some 20 years ago.
It is easy to despair. No amount of saving or scrimping can compete with that kind of property inflation. What chance do young people have? Is it even a case of ‘young people’ any more? Very few of my friends own their own homes, and I am 32 years old.
The obtuse answer to this complaint usually veers one of two ways. Either we are told to ‘simply stop enjoying luxuries like holidays and avocados and takeaways’ so that we can afford a house (debunked above). Or we are told to simply go live somewhere else.
Fine. Let’s imagine that the entire of the UK economy and its businesses aren’t ruthless focuses towards the nation’s capital. With my £140,000 I am going to turn down the chance to buy two grim garages in Clapham and I am going to buy this island in Scotland instead. And with the change, I will build myself a log cabin on it, where I will continue writing articles about how expensive houses in London are. But I will do it not surrounded by pigeons and filth, but rather seals and scenery.
The island is called Eilean Loch Oscair and it lies off the north-west coast of the Island of Lismore with the Firth of Lorne. It's about 10 acres in size. You will need a boat to get there, but it is not very far.
Here are some pictures of seals.
If you are still unsure about which to buy, the garages or the seal-slathered Scottish Island, then consider the following hypothetical situation. You are at the pub, or a dinner party, and the person sat to your right owns the island, and the person on your left owns the garages. Who would you rather talk to?
I thought so.
James Fisher is the deputy digital editor of countrylife.co.uk. He lives in London and is not often invited to parties.
Credit: Knight Frank
Live the life of Rivals in this house on Tetbury Green
Whether you read the book, watched the TV show, or just want to live in a nice house in the
A breathtaking house and garden for sale that was created by one of Britain's greatest landscape architects as a playground for his family
Thomas H. Mawson, one of the 20th century's most renowned landscape architects, created this place for his family to enjoy.
-
A Georgian farmhouse that's an 'absolute gem' in an ancient village on Salisbury PlainJulie Harding takes a look at the beautiful West Farm in a gorgeous Wiltshire village.
-
Can you guess the landmark from its gingerbread copy cat? Take our quizToday's quiz takes a detailed look at the gingerbread works on display at London's The Gingerbread City — and asks if you can guess which iconic landmark they are.
-
A Georgian farmhouse that's an 'absolute gem' in an ancient village on Salisbury Plain
Julie Harding takes a look at the beautiful West Farm in a gorgeous Wiltshire village.
-
It'd be crazy to buy this 500-year-old farmhouse just because of its utterly gorgeous Aga — so thank goodness that the rest of this place is also really nicePerry Mill Farm is an immaculate yet characterful four-bedroom dream home in the country at a price that will make city dwellers immediately start Googling 'working from Worcestershire'.
-
'A masterpiece of timeless elegance' for sale on the charmed Surrey estate once owned by Henry VIII and the Guinness familyThe Manor House in Burwood Park is a grand, enormous and undeniably impressive. Annabel Dixon takes a look.
-
A grand hall in Yorkshire with 400 years of historyCarlton Hall is a wonderful family home amid glorious gardens in a quaint village location. Penny Churchill looks inside.
-
Why don't more of us live in brightly coloured homes?It's not often that you see a home sporting the colour palette that you'd get if you hired a four-year old as your interior designer. But why not? The Blue House in Bethnal Green asks this and many more questions.
-
Five magnificent mansions, from a former monastery to an Art Deco wonder in the South Downs, as seen in Country LifeWonderful homes, including a superb beach home in Cornwall, all fresh on the market via Country Life.
-
A 14-bedroom 'miniature Downton Abbey' to call your own — and there's not a penny of Mansion Tax to be paidNorton Manor is an incredible period home that's on the market for £1.3 million.
-
The dream ski chalet for sale: Plan world domination and ski Japow at the same timeEach week, James Fisher fantasises about a dream ski chalet he'd like to buy, but can't — from architecturally striking marvels, to cosy mountain retreats, and everything in between. This week, we are off to the top of the Rusutsu resort in Japan.
