A 500-year-old cottage in West Sussex that's as beautiful as you could ever hope to see, with a pool ringed by flowers, stables and a croquet lawn

Last night, I had far too much to drink and as a result have spent the day working and also suffering. There is often lots of talk of ageing gracefully, but I am not ageing gracefully. With every passing year, my ability to survive a hangover weakens and their length increases. I will probably still be hungover and suffering tomorrow. When you drink enough mystery cocktails to re-float a warship, that can happen.

When you do it aged 33, it will happen.

I would have preferred to spend the day not working, and not being in London, where there are endless annoying sirens and the air tastes like mistakes. I would have preferred to be somewhere nice, like West Sussex, in something that has aged gracefully, like a 5-7 bedroom Grade II-listed stone fronted humble manor house. Somewhere I can rot in peace, surrounded by nature and nice furniture.

Somewhere, incidentally, like Woodshill House, which by sheer coincidence is a 5-7 bedroom Grade II-listed stone fronted humble manor house in West Sussex. What are the chances?

It is for sale with Knight Frank for £2.85 million, which might explain why I don’t live there, as I don’t have £2.85 million. I might have done, but I spent something in that ballpark on drinks last night.

While we might both be old, Woodshill is not broken, and its insides are beautiful. I cannot say the same for me. The property can trace its origins back to the late 16th century, due to the ‘gun-stock jowl [whatever that might be], heavily weathered timbers to the northern end and the side purling roof’. The house has slowly developed from there, constructed in four phases, until Woodshill as you see it now was created.

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The interiors retain plenty of that period feel, with wood-panelled walls, stone fireplaces, exposed beams and Things of That Nature. The house has been modernised in all the right areas, such as the bathrooms and the kitchen, which has been extended and now features a wonderful skylight.

Set over three floors, the property offers plenty of space, as well as a wealth of rooms including the orangery/extension, dining room, two studies, a utility room and a drawing room. There is also a self-contained detached stable annexe in the grounds.

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Ah yes, the grounds, in which I wish to lie and repent for my sins. They extend to some 2.8 acres and are very fine indeed, with lots of lawned areas, planted beds, mature trees, and the aforementioned stables. There is also a paddock, a tennis court, croquet lawn, a kitchen garden and a swimming pool.

The property itself is situated on top of a hill and boasts views over the South Downs, and can be found on the outskirts of West Chiltington, just outside of Pulborough, which means there are plenty of amenities within a short driving distance.

Woodshill House is for sale with Knight Frank for £2.85 million — see more details.