'Without wishing to sound like a terrible show-off, I’ve been in public with the odd famous person before': A snob's guide to approaching a celebrity

When it comes to the recent matter of Chappell Roan and an 11-year-old fan, who’s in the right? A brief recap if you’ve missed the story. The American singer was enjoying her breakfast in a Sao Paolo hotel when an 11-year-old fan called Ada, staying in the same hotel and who just so happens to be Jude Law’s daughter, walked past her idol’s table. She didn’t say anything, supposedly, it was just to smile and check it was her. Drama ensued moments later, however, when Chappell's bodyguard appeared at Ada’s table, and ticked off her parents for allowing the girl to ‘disrespect’ and ‘harass’ the star. Ada’s step-father, Brazilian footballer, Jorginho, took to Instagram to vent about this overbearing incident; Chappell later denied it on her own account.

Phew. What a drama. Poor young Ada, and yet it must be pretty exhausting, if you’re a celebrity, to be constantly gawped at. Can a star not enjoy their hotel buffet breakfast in peace?

I have some sympathy with the celebs, though, because — without wishing to sound like a terrible show-off — I’ve been in public with the odd famous person before, and the behaviour of some people around them is extraordinary.

Once, at a restaurant, a young lad rushed up to a famous sports star (I’m not going to tell you who, sorry, because that would be vulgar and name-droppy).

‘Can I have a selfie?’ the teenager demanded, as we ate.

‘Hello, how are you? What’s your name?’ the star responded, turning in his seat and politely making the point that this boy had demanded something from him without any social niceties. I understand that it’s hugely daunting to approach someone famous, someone you admire, but it’s also extremely rude to demand a piece of them, a photo, without even bothering with a ‘hello.’

On another occasion, in a pub with an actor, I noticed people beyond us sneakily trying to take a video or photos of him, pretending that they were photographing something else. This is also pretty rude and tiresome, especially if said famous person is with their family. And is that grainy photo taken from across the restaurant going to be any good? Almost certainly not.

I quizzed a friend about this, and he said he said the general rule is don’t approach anyone if they’re with their children. Young children of celebrities can, understandably, find their parent being harassed confusing, and become protective. Also, don’t bother anyone in a restaurant. They’re trying to eat; they’re really not ‘on duty’.

Be polite and say hello before you hold your phone up for a picture. Understand that some people may not be in the mood. Other celebrities have a blanket ‘no selfies’ policy. If there was any doubt over this, that is entirely their call, not yours.

Don’t bother them for too long, either. A greeting and sentence or two about how much you admire them will suffice. Although nerves can of course get the better of you, here. A few years ago, at Chelsea Flower show, I spied Anna Maxwell Martin and felt the sudden urge to tell her how brilliant she was. I didn’t want a photo; I just wanted to offer my appreciation. So, steeling myself, I walked up to her.

‘HelloAnnaIjustwantedtotellyouhowmuchIlovedyouasReganinKingLearattheNationalafewyearsago,’ I gabbled, so fast that the words were barely decipherable.

Anna’s eyes widened in panic at this deranged woman in front of her. ‘Er…thank you very much,’ she offered back, whereupon I felt so embarrassed I turned and fled. I’m not sure Anna would recall this encounter, but I think of it reasonably often and feel a full body cringe at the memory. So, if you see someone famous out and about, think about it first. In fact, do you need to bother them, or is admiring from afar, perhaps, the safer option?