What is everyone talking about this year: The countryside news that will definitely dominate the headlines in 2026, according to Country Life
Country Life's Kate Green takes a stab at guessing what countryside news will make the headlines in 2026.
January
Encouraged by Cornwall, Norfolk makes a bid for independence. Furriners (visitors and second-home owners) unable to engage in mardle (idle chit-chat) in Norfolk dialect will have to pay kewter (cash) to stay.
February
There’s romance in the birdwatching world with a new dating app, MateForLife, that alerts birders to a potential love interest observing a pair of courting grebes nearby. Loud booing overwhelms the opening Six Nations rugby match; the waddling robots that have replaced human referees are hopelessly behind the action, letting through all manner of fouls.
March
The Oscars ceremony descends into chaos after some joker swaps the contents of the envelopes, with the result that the winning make-up artist takes Best Director. At Crufts, the Royal Kennel Club announces a new dog breed, the torgi, a cute corgi-Jack Russell cross with sticking-up ears that simultaneously rounds up sheep and sees off foxes.
April
Exquisite houses, the beauty of Nature, and how to get the most from your life, straight to your inbox.
A 200-1 outsider, Water Wings, wins a rain-soaked Grand National in which runners are forced to swim a flooded Becher’s Brook.
May
The May Bank Holiday is renamed Sir David Attenborough Day. The centenarian reports on human behaviour at the local elections: ‘Here are two of the species Canvasser desperides, displaying their rosettes. They’re in competition for the same neighbourhood…’
June
Enterprising Somerset locals fill the Glastonbury vacuum with a pop-up festival featuring a Wurzels tribute band singing: ‘I can’t afford a brand-new combine harvester.’
July
Henley is cancelled due to low water; instead, the crews play spin the boater and lacrosse with oars on the dry riverbed until an invading plague of scorpions stops play.
August
It’s the silly season, so animal-rights activists plot to steal Stubbs’s Whistlejacket from the National Gallery because the poor horse has been standing on his hind legs since 1762. It all goes wrong when they get stuck in the swing doors.
September
The Lindisfarne Festival is disrupted by locals claiming reparations from Scandinavian countries for the Viking invasion of 793. Order is only restored when it’s pointed out that those who perished were celibate monks who were unlikely to have had offspring.
October
The Booker Prize is halted after the chair of judges, Dame Mary Beard, complains that nothing has been written in Latin.
November
Parliament comes to a standstill when thieves steal the House of Commons mace, without which the House cannot pass laws, including the emergency one allowing the Serjeant at Arms to carry a silver-plated shovel instead.
December
The year 2026 really is endless; thieves steal the hands of Big Ben. Happy New Year!
This feature originally appeared in the December 31, 2025, issue of Country Life. Click here for more information on how to subscribe.
Kate is the author of 10 books and has worked as an equestrian reporter at four Olympic Games. She has returned to the area of her birth, west Somerset, to be near her favourite place, Exmoor. She lives with her Jack Russell terrier Checkers.